Unbelizeble times

Wow time really feels like its been on fast forward recently so I will get straight to the point and start off where we left you last.

From learning Spanish in Oaxaca we headed further south to a small town called Palenque. This is serious backpacker territory which was a little disappointing at first, but with the jungle at your door step its easy to see why so many people are lured this way. Whilst in Palenque we stayed in a little cabana in the middle of the jungle which was basic but set in a stunning location. This is where I discovered my status as a fast food chain in the mosquito under world. It turns out I am more popular than Mcdonalds with a two for one special on blood burgers, either that or I am an exceptionally exquisite restaurant were reservations must be made a month in advance (obviously the latter is a more favorable notion) either way the little bastards can't get enough of me! I suppose I should consider it a compliment. One morning I woke up to find one had taken a fancy to my eye lid and no amount of make up was going to disguise my bulbous and lopsided face, Quasimodo wasn't really the look I was going for two days before my birthday! Anyway I decided to head to the pharmacy in light of the fact I couldn't really see properly. Feeling incredibly self conscious and a little drowsy from taking too many piriton I managed to find the worst possible chemist in the whole of Mexico. Only in Mexico will you find a drug store with someone pitched outside with a microphone trying to sell you a 'buy one get one free' offer on Viagra whilst set to a techno base line. After managing to decline this kind offer I headed straight for the young man behind the counter, and pointed at my face, no words needed. Just as the pharmacist started to issue me my remedy a man in an inflatable doctors costume (as in the kind you find at Disney land) came and put his arm around me and peered over at my prescription! Just imagine if I had been purchasing something more personal!

Quite miraculously my eye actually went down in time for my birthday which was a huge relief as we had an action packed day ahead of us. Palenque itself is largely famed for its Mayan ruins, so what better way to spend your day of birth than sitting on top of an ancient pyramid pretending you are from the year 615 AD and a sacrifice is about to take place! This is actually where Mel Gibson's Apocolipto was filmed for those of you who know the movie. The second part of the day was spent visiting some local waterfalls and naturally in true Abi and Jaz fashion, getting told off by a life guard for swimming too close to them!

From Palenque we joined up with our friend Amy and visited the Yucatan capital, Merida. This is another beautiful little Spanish colonial town with a similar sort of buzz as many of the places we'd visited in the north of Mexico. What I've yet to mention about these locations is that while sitting in the corner of a plaza sipping a coffee and looking out over grand limestone churches and town halls is a pleasurable experience, you can't help but feel a little uncomfortable knowing that this is largely due to Spain's ruthless colonization of the area, toppling the local American civilizations in the process and imposing Christianity. During a historical tour of Merida we learnt that in the mid 16Th century Spanish colonizers knocked down the 5 pyramids that made up Merida´s town centre and used the stone to build their own churches right on top of them! It seems that exploiting, displacing and pretty much exterminating indigenous populations was not done subtly, one of the oldest buildings in the town even has a mural of the Spanish invaders proudly treading on the decapitated heads of their Mayan rivals!

From Merida we headed to the north of the Yucatan peninsula to a tiny town called Valladolid. The main reason for this pit stop was to explore the local sink holes other wise known as cenotes which are basically big under ground swimming holes. But how are they formed I hear you cry! Well The Yucatan Peninsula is a porous limestone shelf with no visible rivers; all the fresh water rivers are underground which means that caverns and caves form where the fresh water collects. The cenotes are filled with stalactites and stalagmites and the first one we visited was 47 meters deep, making it a pretty exciting swim. While the others had a quick dip and then got out I was quite transfixed by these under ground caverns and spent a significant amount of time
exploring different crevices and getting covered in bat poo in the process in a gollum like fashion. When cycling home from the cenotes we got caught in torrential rain which left us drenched through to the skin whilst attempting to peddle through a good 5 inches of water so all in all it was a pretty exhilarating experience.

From Valladolid we made our way swiftly to Isla Mujeres with one purpose in mind, to visit Abi's long lost relative who lives on an island made of plastic bottles! Isla Mujeres is as you may expect from an island off the cost of Cancun, a little over priced and filled to the brim with tourists. Richie Sowa's Island on the other hand is quite something else.In a nut shell Richie has hand-built and lived on two Islands, which floated on over 300,000 recycled bottles! The first Island was destroyed by Hurricane Emily in 2005. Eighteen months ago he began to build a replacement so the Island we visited him on is a kind of a Eco-work-of-art in progress. Still the new Island is quite awe inspiring with a two story house, a solar power cooker, a wave washing machine and a conch shell intercom system! He created the Island by filling nets with empty discarded plastic bottles to support a structure of plywood and bamboo , on which he poured sand and planted numerous plants, including mangroves which hold the structure together. To check out this crazy concept go to the following web address and check out the videos on it,
http://www.spiralislanders.com.

Now this is all well and good, and I am a big supporter of Richie's work but lets be honest anyone who comes up with the idea of making an island out of plastic bottles has to be a little nuts, and this man was no exception to the echo warrior stereotype. Whilst joining him for an organic juice on the island he informed us of many of his theories about the wider world. One of them, quite profound, is that a persons name defines who they are. This can be done by making anagrams with the letters of your name. He provided us a with a few examples to illustrate his point, Hugh
Heffner for example: huge hug on a fur rug or out of Adolf Hitler you can make hate and hit. Quite enthused by this theory we asked him to have a look at our names, after pondering over Abi´s for a little while he came up with the following 'ill' and 'big gal' at which point Amy and I chuckled and pointed out that it was a good job she wasn't, to which he responded by looking her up and down and stating 'well she's carrying a bit of extra weight, she´s got the potential'! At this point Abi decided that their family connection wasn't that strong after all and soon after that we left with Abi giving uncle Richie (or Rishi as he now likes to be called) a rather cool hug good bye.

From Isla Mujeres we headed for our final destination in Mexico, Tulum. This is a little piece of heaven that although long discovered by backpackers, has been left largely untouched by high rise hotels and hungry holiday makers. The sand was white, the sea turquoise and there was not a cloud to be seen in the sky, so naturally we did what any Brit does who's been starved of good weather most of their life, we spent our entire time on the beach! Actually that's not quite true we did also visit yet more Mayan ruins, but these are actually on the beach so I'm not sure they
count as a cultural expedition. Whilst there we took coconuts from a palm tree and drank the milk from them, swam in the sea and gradually turned a delightful shade of cancer brown.

So just over two months later we finally bid farewell to our beloved Mexico and crossed the border into Belize. This had the potential to be a complete disaster as when we crossed the border into Mexico from the USA we simply walked straight across with no passport check and therefore no stamp, according to the customs officer in Belize the lack of this stamp automatically requires us to pay a 100 dollar fine on the spot. Thankfully he didn't seem too fussed about rules and regulations and he let us pass free of charge. It is quite incredible how two countries sitting
side by side can be worlds apart. Within minutes of being on the bus we were offered plantain chips, whilst staring out over one of the lushes green landscapes I've ever seen, sat amongst such an ethnically diverse bunch of people you'd think we were auditioning for a gap advert. Our first destination was Belize City where we dined on fried chicken, fish, rice and beans which we washed down with a Belikin beer. The following day we ventured out into town where we met an unforgettable character who went by the name of Prince Charles Perez who insisted on giving us a run down of Belizian history. He taught us that Belize was originally called Belikini after a Mayan goddess back in 1650, that Belize didn't gain Independence from Britain until 1981 (which I guess I should have already known!) and that in general the country is quite unbeliezable and we were sure to love it, which indeed we did. According to Prince Charles Perez 'everyone wants a piece of Belize because there's peace in Belize' and I think he might be right. The country has an unbelievably chilled out vibe which hits you like a heat wave.

Around 40 percent of the population are Creole, a group usually defined as English speaking who originally descended from African slaves. The second largest ethnic group, are identified as Mestizos, or persons of mixed Hispanic-Amerindian origin and then the rest of the population are made up of smaller ethnic groups ranging from East Indians, Arabs, Chinese, and Euro-Americans, including a size-able community of German-speaking Mennonites who live a similar life to The Amish and contribute to 80 percent of the fruit and veg harvested throughout the land. It is the only country to have human beings depicted on its national flag and considering this incredible diversity, there appears to be few racial tensions. Despite Belize's easy going nature it is still clearly a developing country. In general things are remarkably expensive considering this fact, which begs the question, where does all the money go? Certainly not into housing that's for sure. Many of the houses are little more than wooden huts built upon stilts. If you met a big bad wolf who threatened to huff and puff you couldn't be blamed for being genuinely concerned that your house really would be blown down, and in some respects that is exactly what happens whenever a tornado hits town. It seems someone in Belize has some pretty fat pockets. The other slightly concerning fact we learnt whilst chatting to a local guy was that a company called Bowen and Bowen bought the rights for importing all beverages into Belize, including water. Bowen and Bowen are owned by Coca Cola and therefore in effect Coca Cola have made it illegal to import any brand of alcohol, soft drink or water into the country that isn't owned by them! Politically, historically and culturally Belize was fascinating, unfortunately we only had a fortnight there. From Belize City we headed straight for San Ignacio which was the closest town to the 'farm' we intended to volunteer on for a fortnight in return for food and board. This turned out to be such a unique experience that I will dedicate an entire blog to it in a few days time! But for now know this... WWOOF (Willing Workers On Organic Farms) is not really up to speed with the appropriateness of their placements and we didn't make it through our two week stint!

If it weren't for all you stinkers at home Abi and I would have moved to Mexico by now!

Abi and I have fallen in love with Mexico, hence the fact we are still here after spending almost two months in the country! Following Christmas we made our way over to the main land to a city called Guadalajara. This contrasted quite considerably with Baja California and being immersed in a fully fledged city was a welcome shock to the system. Guadalajara has an artsy bohemian feel to it, and like much of main land Mexico had a sense of youth and vibrancy. In fact the youth of Mexico as a whole appear to be effortlessly cool. The punk and rock scene are 'in' and long locks are modelled by young men in a way that no English bloke could pull off successfully! Whilst in Guadalajara we experienced the hustle and bustle of a food market selling all sorts of wierd and wonderful new things for us to try, including some crystallised honey and a tiny cup of very rich caramel/toffee which we later found out comes from goats milk. We've had the pleasure of doing this in pretty much every city we've been to, providing a perfect opportunity for a spot of people watching and a cheap meal. We also hired bikes once more as the local council very thoughtfully close the main road that runs through the centre of city on Sundays, giving power over to the pedestrians for a few hours each week. Other activities included checking out Orozco's murals, some impressively scary paintings depicting the Mexican revolution, and going to see Lucha Libre wrestling for an evening which was undeniably homo erotic. Each wrestler sports his own tightly fitting costume, complete with a full head mask and some times, if your lucky a cape. They then proceed to bend each other into all sorts of crazy positions, jump on each other a lot, and then eventually one of them sucumbs to his opponent. Although the whole charade is nothing more than a pantomime, it makes for a highly entertaining night particularly for young children, who eagerly wait around the ring in hope of getting their favourite character's autograph.

From Guadalajara we took a brief detour to Tequila, yep thats right there is an actual town called Tequila! We took a tour around a distillery and were naturally obliged to try some of the local produce. Despite our slight inebriation by the time we finished I managed to retain some information, that, if you're avid drinker of the stuff, you may find interesting. The one distillery we looked around produces 64 thousand litres of Tequila per day, someone clearly likes it! The agave plant that Tequila comes from is in fact a giant bulb from the Lilly family as opposed to a cactus... Oh and much the same as Champagne, it can only legally be deemed as Tequila if it comes from from the state of Jalisco where Tequila the town is located.

From Tequila we headed for Guanajuato where we welcomed in the new year with a night of salsa and yet more local liquors. Here we had a slightly bizarre experience when visiting some mummified bodies in glass cabinets with a group of Mexicans who were a little too keen to get their picture taken with a corpse. Each mummy had a small caption next to it stating something along the lines of 'hi, I'm Pedro, I was burried alive when I was only 23, before I died I liked hanging out with my friend Pablo, who is now lying next to me...' slightly distasteful to say the least as the bodies where still far too fresh for my liking, skin, eyes, pubic hair, and all!

From Guanajuato we swiftly made our way to Mexico City with no real expectations of particularly liking the place but a strong desire to start making our way down south. We were blown away! The second we exited the tube into the Zocalo we were hit with a buzz that only a city of such magnitude can provide. We headed for the streets straight away in exploration and discovered what appeared to be a mariachi convention! There were well over a hundred mariachi bands all simultaneously entertaining different members of the public at once. We paid 1 pound for a rendition of Guantanamera (shamelessly cliche, but a classic all the same). We then spent the rest of the night talking Spanglish to some Mexican youths, and got truly inspired by the idea of a Mexican themed party which we are intent on having upon our return, all are invited of course but only on the condition that you dress up as one of the following:

A cactus
A mariachi band member
A dia del muerta skeleton
A taco
An Aztec or Mayan coolio
A Lucha Libre wrestler
A piñata.... or anything else Mexican inspired!

The rest of our time in Mexico city was spent getting a cultural fix from various museums and galleries, and learning a little more about Diego Rivera, Frida Kahlo and her infamous mono-brow. We also took a rather colourful trip on a canal boat...yep that's right Mexico City has canals! Heading to the canals on a Sunday afternoon appears to be a popular activity amongst locals and tourists alike, the river heaved with families picnicking upon their own private floating dining room. For once the popularity of this activity only added to our enjoyment of the experience as the canals were alive with colour and the sound of good banter. Whilst being punted down the river we encountered a very scary 'doll island' created by a local man with the intent to fend off evil spirits. Anyone who has watched a 90's horror film involving clowns or dolls will appreciate why witnessing several dolls heads and various limbs hanging from a tree is enough to keep you up several nights in a row trying to think of happy thoughts!

We also had our first taste of prehispanic culture when visiting Teotihuacan. This is an enormous archaeological site just outside of Mexico City, containing some of the largest pyramids in the world. Teotihuacan was the largest city in the pre-Columbian Americas and during its hay day it would have had more than 100,000 inhabitants roaming arounds its busy streets. When visiting the site its easy to get lost in wonder as to what it would have been like when thriving with life. This was greatly enhanced by our guide who went by the name of Gorilla and quite frankly was a complete dude, so cool in fact that when he removed his sun glasses from his face he was left with a distinct aviator tan line. During our journey throughout the site he told us of his experience of taking peyote (an halucianagenic which helps you find the inner 'you'), along with giving us our mayan names according to our birthdays. Abi must now be refered to as Tochtlimixtla which means The heart of the rabbit in the moon, and I am Alttzintonalli, Fire waterfall! He also told us that according to the Mayan calendar, the world is going to end on the 23rd of December 2012 so you folks better get living your dreams quick!

Naturally Mexico City wasn't the cheapest of places to fall in love with, and therefore a few nights couch surfing were in order. On this occasion we stayed with a girl named Alisa who again turned out to be perfectly sane with no intention of killing us. I hope the sceptics amongst you are beginning to see that we aren't in fact risking our lives by staying with complete strangers throughout this trip, and that sleeping on random peoples sofas is nothing more than a cultural exchange?!

So from Mexico City to Oaxaca. On our way to Oaxaca we were accompanied by Rob, an Aussie friend we made in L.A, with whom we spent a few brief days exploring the city before starting language school. Learning Spanish for a fortnight provided us with a much needed challenge of testing our brain cells after two years out of education. It also acted as a complete sanctuary as we stayed with a host family during this time and experienced the delights of a home cooked meals and sheets that smelt of fabric conditioner. The family we were staying with were warm and welcoming and having a base for a short time was absolute luxury. We did however discover that they are keen members of the church of Jehova, and spent one evening eating dinner with 20 of their friends whilst watching a film about 'brotherhood'. There wasn't much hope of converting us though, given that it was a week before my birthday, and I'd be damned if I wasn't going to celebrate in style!

Whilst at language school we spent our weekends exploring the surrounding mountains by day (including a cheeky skinny dip under a waterfall) and salsa dancing by night. Oaxaca itself is yet another vibrant, cosmopolitan city, full of life. People appear to be permanently socialising. Its the sort of place you find yourself content sitting in a small cafe and simply watching other peoples daily routine play out before your eyes, their lives set against a back drop of cobbled streets, stunning churches and distant mountains puncturing a perfect blue sky. In fact if it weren't so darn far away from the UK I'd be tempted to up and move there! Whilst staying in the city we met a fare few Mexicans with whom we shared a beer or two. Each one of them turned out to be hard working, intelligent and great conversationalists, a million miles away from their American stereotype of being idol sombrero wearing lay abouts. In fact Mexico itself is so much more developed than I had anticipated, obviously the country still has its fair share of social issues, poverty being one of them, but I feel a little niave to have expected such a lack of wealth. You may, or may not know that Mexico for the large part is classed as a North American country as opposed to Central American, therefore the concept of referring to the U.S.A as 'America' can be deemed by some people to be quite offensive.

Briefly before I forget I must mention the local grub, as I'm sure if you are as much of a food fan as we are, you'll be keen to find out whats on the menu. One thing that has to be said about Mexican cuisine is that there is a serious lack of veggies. We have pretty much survived on tacos, tortas and rice and beans for the last two months, which is perfect for the cheese lover in me, but alas I am struggling with the lack of green things in my daily diet. On the plus side though, fruit is in abundance, and if you are feeling a little lazy you can simply pick up a litre sized cup from a street stall full of pineapple, papaya, mango, and just about anything else you fancy, for 75p. Chilli and fresh lime juice is sprayed on pretty much anything you put in your mouth (including beer) and I have also discovered a new found love for guavas. Street stalls sell a range of arse widening snacks including a cup of maize mixed with chili, lime (of course) mayo and cheese, delicious comfort food.

Lastly on a more general note I need to throw in a few facts that don't fit in nicely with any of the other paragraphs, but deserve a mention all the same:

1. In Mexico the 24th of December and the 6th of January are actually considered the most significant days of the Christmas period, not the 25th.
2. All of the Christmas trees in the public squares are sponsored/owned by Coca Cola.
3. Having shiny shoes must be very important to Mexicans as shoe shining stalls are absolutely everywhere!
4. A popular method of advertising throughout Mexico is to attach a loud speaker to the back of a truck and drive it around the streets at a snails pace obnoxiously loudly, one of the country's less pleasant attributes.
5. What else? Ah yes best of all live music is everywhere, including on the local buses, where you will often find a musician or two hop on, busk for 10 minutes and then hop off again!